Things I learned on the bus

Waiting for the bus to take me back to school tonight, I struck up a conversation with an asian man also waiting. Actually, I did very little of the striking up. Due to my awful small-talk and liking-random-people skills, I'm not sure how many times I've struck up a conversation in my life. The only instance that comes to mind is asking an attractive asian woman in my philosophy class to an SYR (definition: dorm dance) only to find out that she "likes asian boys." To this day, I'm confused as to whether she meant men her age or actual asian underage boys. I'm also confused as to why she told me that and how this segues into my main point.

I talked with the man on the bus stop about various things: Notre Dame, the military academies, not wearing my glasses, attractive women in Pittsburgh, older professional men dating attractive women in Pittsburgh, and the relative merits of being a 'sugardaddy.' At this point, the bus came and I thanked the supreme higher power for relieving me of my conversational suffering (kinda like Jesus at the end of the movie).

Unfortunately, I dropped the fact that I was born in Eastern PA. This man, this asian man, was a former resident of Philadelphia, a well known city on the Eastern side of PA. Consequently, the conversation carried over onto the bus. This is when he told me the two things I learned on the bus tonight: the asian girls at my school are 'smoking' and I should pick up the City Paper in Philly and walk down to Chinatown.

Now this next paragraph may reveal that I am racist, and I hope that isn't the case. But when he recommended the City Paper trip, my gut was telling me I didn't want to hear the rest of what he was saying. The City Paper is also published in Pittsburgh, but it is a local version. And in this local version, near the back, are adds for massage parlors, health clubs, and adult phone-talking services. These ads have pictures on them and the pictures are dirty. With this in mind (massage, health, adults services) and the fact that there are asian whores in Chinatown*, I had a good idea of what was coming.

*(this is not a judgment on the chinese-american culture, but mainly an estimation that there is a higher proportion of asian prostitutes in the predominantly asian neighborhood)

I was correct. I won't go into details, because, thankfully, there were none. I didn't ask for further information as my brain was too busy grimacing with awkwardness. All I will say is that you can easily spend several hundreds of dollars and you can spend them well. On sex... healthy asian massage adult-servicy sex.