Annotated Haikus!

The recent D10 fact finding mission to St. Louis is already yielding impressive results! Actually, "results" may be something of a misnomer, since this post contains no facts, only haikus, but the long and short of it is that 20% of the interminable trip along I-55 had your intrepid reporters doing the 5-7-5 boogie.

(This is not our first foray into this arena)


Our first entry was inspired by
Nums' Saturday night in St. Louis. Evidently, after a day of noble minded drinking, Mr. Nums took a viewing of the 1994 Oscar winning film Forrest Gump. A rather devout and pious soul, Nums was vocally enraged by the character of Jenny's constant "whore-like" behavior, and made his displeasure known any time she appeared on camera. Of course, this rage left Nums unprepared for her untimely demise, When she died in the film, he whimpered and cried until drifting away into a well-deserved but haggard sleep. This incident inspired a few verses:

Run Forrest For Love
Thank Jesus, the whore is dead
Tears stain the Inn's floor.

My sister was a bit more topical:

I love my Jenny
I buried you near our tree
Our kid is not dumb

From there, the discourse turned to happier thoughts. Like Nums' wardrobe. (How was your "Huhot Oil?" Christ, no wonder you were so messed up.) Blogger XX'sMr. Nums' hat would earn him an unprompted excoriation from a nearby woman as a "Queer." A debate nearly ensued, but Nums would assiduously cut short any of the woman's arguments by insisting "I'm queer, I have to think about guys."

Lent: season of gray
A town's hopes rest on this man's
Simple pink gay cap.

Kenton and Gower
Why don't they just gay marry?
dick dick dick dick dick

Gay as Mike and James
Kiss me on the mouth again
Please no more kissing


(my sister did the second one)

The drive from St. Louis to Chicago is no small trek. as such, Nums' human concerns began to rear their head. This latest bit composed after a lovely stop over in the Bloomington-Normal Steak & Shake:

My shit was massive
More shit might be on the way
I call the bathroom

Our thoughts turned first to a restaurant we almost ate at, and then to current events:

Cucumbers, fish, beef
This menu does not explain
We choose not to stay

Chimp attacks woman
Facial transplant surgery
Where's Michael Jackson?

And finally, to the sacred:

You died for us all
Wait for me in Paradise
Our dear Barbaro