Back When Movie Posters Meant Something

I was at the movies the other day and I realized that, looking at the film posters in the theater lobby, I can't tell what the hell movies are coming out. In an effort to be hip and show off flashy graphics, we've lost sight of telling the audience what the hell the films are about.


Big Fish? There's not even any water in this shot. What the hell is the adventure of a lifetime? Is this somehow related to The NeverEnding Story?



I can't tell what the hell's going on in this one, either. Sure, it looks like this movie will be scary, but what the hell is 30 Days of Night? It sounds like an Adam Sandler movie.

I did a little browsing through the D10 historical archives and I realized that this cavalier attitude towards contemporary film marketing wasn't simply codgery on the part of this old man. This, now this is a film poster.

It answers every question a prospective filmgoer could have. Does it compare the title character with other lifeforms, both human and extraterrestrial? Check. Does this animal kill for revenge? Check. Is it man? No. I thought it was, since man is pretty much the only animal that kills for revenge, but thanks to this poster, I know I was mistaken.

What will this creature do if it's mate is harmed by man? Is time travel potentially on the table? Yes, it is.

Orca: The Killer Whale - The Last of a Dying Breed.