D10ers, I'm currently reading the journals of Capt. R. F. Scott's doomed final expedition to Antarctica. In the spirit of intrepid exploration into danting and inhospitable climes, I, the Indomitable Hollywood sought out for that last bastion of lawlessness and scorn that dares hold out against the trappings of civilization and humanity:
The Cuyahoga Rive r goes burning through America's Dreams
Like all Christians, I had been warned of the city of Cleveland from a small age. Going into my journey, I knew what to expect. Rivers aflame, vicious criminals running rampant through the city, people fervently masturbating on every street corner; this is the Cleveland that the world knows, but this is not the Cleveland that I saw.
The Cleveland I saw was actually quite nice in parts. Almost too nice. I don't have an
y hard facts to back it up, but it is my clear suspicion that the city fathers of Cleveland, knowing a visitor from a very presigious blog was en route, negotiated to borrow Milwaukee's downtown for an evening so that your humble correspondent would be suitably impressed and not report back to cyberspace the brazen examples of decaying infrastructure and mass bestiality that Cleveland is known for. Well, city fathers, it worked. I enjoyed "your" fair city a great deal.
But then, on the ride home, the cab driver tried to sell me a suitcase full of drugs. Nice try, Cleveland. Almost the perfect crime (the pulling one over on me as a journalist, not the selling me drugs).
Posts
that's why i couldn't meet up with you Saturday night. everytime a cleveland resident knows a visitor is coming to the Emerald City, we are obligated to call an emergency press conference and commence operation "Flame-stomper" to make everything all nice.
ReplyDeletethe only condition is that cabbies are allowed to sell their personal possessions to visitors. we're all just too friendly