Guts vs. Numbers: An American Institution

Before there were equations, there were only guts and numbers. It took someone with a lot of guts to put those numbers together and form equations. During this time, there were no solutions, obviously, only whores and booze. Now, we have solutions, because of guts and numbers we have answers. And those answers come in the form of NFL Football picks.

Two young men, Guts and Numbers, entered into combat on the electronic gridiron to be the best. In case you've been in a coma since The Dirty Ten began populating the web with veritable gold nuggets of social commentary, I'll briefly list our credentials.

First, Jimmy "Nums"- Chicago-based young professional and aspiring hipster, well grounded in mathematics and meticulosity, "Nums" developed his "7 proven indeces" and "innumerable matrices" last year and took the Football picking field by storm.

Next, me, Guts- I'm a Pittsburgh-based law student/interpretive dance instructor-choreographer/Hermeneuticist/Freelance Adventurer and Card-counter/11 time Cy young winner/Bachelor of the week (September 9-15, 2004), and Liaison to the Lieutenant Governor of Pennsylvania. I'm well grounded in bullshit and political science and last year I put the only real system, my gut and your love, to the test.

Guts vs. Numbers began less than a year ago when I, Guts, challenged Jimmy "Nums" to a friendly competition. Whoever could develop the best system for picking NFL games straight up and against the spread would be the winner. The friendly competition slowly grew into all out bloodsport when "Nums" unveiled his unrivaled "7 proven indeces." I did not back down, using only my system of pure raw Guts and unnatural talent, I fought back. In the end, "Nums" eked out the victory. Season 1 was a disappointment, but I plan on coming back strong. It was only the last 8 weeks of the season so I'm inclined to call it a push. You can decide for yourself. All of the columns are up on gutsvsnumbers.blogspot.com

Today is just the first day of Season 2, and I'm ready to go. I've finely tuned my rock hard pickgasmic system. The first game pits the defending Super Bowl Champion New York Giants on their home turf against the Washington Redskins.

Washington v. New York (G)
Pick: New York (G)
Spread: Giants (-4)
Spread Pick: I like the Giants by 10
Score: 31-21

Normally I'd have reservations about picking the G-men, because well, I hate the G-men. I think they're god awful. Every season they have talent, promise, a fucking annoying fan-base and then they shit the bed, over and over again. Let me reiterate, any time they step on the field it makes me angry that I actually have to talk about their games because they're just one big disappointing mess of human. But, you know what, they stomped on my balls and cut off my dick last year by actually WINNING THE SUPER BOWL. Are you kidding me? They ruined the perfect pats. They won with ELI MANNING. I have nothing but respect and I may look at Coughlin's bunch a little differently. But watch, they'll piss me off again soon. Until then, I like the Giants to win at home against a redskin team that I just can't figure out. My gut says a giant win for the defending champs to open the season.